2014

And here we are again...Another year, flying by like crazy... Always makes me think, analyse over the year and feel I am very blessed to even be alive. But its also very scary, everything goes so quick and sometimes you forget what to prioritise. We are so up in our lifes and having our comfortable routines that you forget whats important...

One of the biggest things this year was probably me taking a risk quitting my day job and went for a Design Competition for a Reality TV Show filmed in The Philippines. This is one of my biggest "YOLO" moments ever! I'm the sensible organised one that never do crazy things like that. I loved the experience but not necessarily the TV bit of it. But hey I tried and it was a 2 1/2 weeks of joy and met some amazing people. But this made me realise that I need more of these moments, I basically shat my pants when I did this but I DID IT! Self growth is very important and not getting out of your comfort zone you will never grow as a individual. I struggled when I got back without a job and a double rent to pay but look at me, here I am with two part time jobs I like and doing my own creative things and still trying to push for better things. I am so grateful for what I have but also I am still struggling with certain things ( that have to be another post haha )

I want to thank all the people that has been a part of my year and my journey, even the people I did cut off for various reasons. I learnt from every situation and person for good or bad. But I wanna say big up to the people that made me smile and laugh in tuff situations. Without you I would never be able to get through anything, THANK YOU! You know who you are...

2014 we had a love & hate relationship and I now welcome 2015 in my life, bring it on!

Sooo a few things that happen this year:

• I cut a fringe, very risky but I like it!
• I was one of the contestants for FashionOne's Design Genius
• Cut certain people off that showed no effort being in my life
• Lost a very special friend, made me realise how small some things are
• Tried to smile as much as possible
• Released some new material
• I'm now an auntie for another beautiful little girl
• My Kimonos are now in process of being manufactured 
• I redesigned this beautiful website for you guys
• So much more probably did happen but this is how I sum it up...

SMILE THROUGH THE BREAKDOWN

Today I woke up with a smile on my face for no particular reason. The last couple of months been very hard and I have been feeling the London struggle even more then usual. After my adventure in The Philippines I came back to reality again, without a job and I wasn't even sure if I was able to pay my rent. But my mindset was really good and the first couple of weeks I was ok. I applied for probably 5 - 10 jobs a day but when that didn't end up in results I got a bit worried. For me it was hard to understand since I have more then 14 years experience in retail and I wondered what am I doing wrong?!

After a month I manage to get a job in a little vintage shop in East which was a relief. I still didn't know how I was going to be able to pay a double rent and it freaked me out!  I can go into a lot of details with my whole life situation but I wont bore you... Basically what I realise the last month is that in every situation you are in, good or bad you always need to use your mind to create what you want and what you need in your life. I have been really down and stressed for various reasons but everyday I am trying to make something out of that and make it into a life experience. And I will tell you, IT WORKS! It is all about your mindset and how you approach situations and life. I have put up a front of being happy and full of jokes and laughter cause that is what you have to do, is like a front. So sometimes people don't know whats going on behind this front but for me, making my best to cover it will bring you joy and you might even make other people happy and fulfil their day cause now a days kindness and manners are very rare. It is also crazy how in todays society you are actually surprised if someone says something nice, being polite or just doing a nice gesture. And this is what scares me...

The last week been really good even though I worked 6 days in a row and dealing with other things at the same time. But I am also really blessed and I had a really positive mind even though I haven't  been that happy. The people or shall I call them strangers that I bumped into or talked to the last month have been amazing human beings that shared their story and life experience and I think because of my mindset right now I attracted it to myself. I don't think I ever talked to these many strangers and appreciate every little second of it. Either its been stories I can relate to or some stories that I don't get or don't agree with it but I can appreciate it. You gave me so much life and triggered a really curious part of myself that I don't normally have. I am so grateful for these amazing human beings even if they don't know it...

When I was in this struggle I knew that in the end the dots will connect. But when you are in it, it is very hard to see. I just knew deep down that I will look back on this and be like "AHAAAAA" I get it now! I am a strong believer that 'Everything happens for a reason' like I didn't get a certain job because I was ment to be doing this or that or I wouldn't bump in to so and so if it wasn't for that specific situation. This is what they call faith or destiny right?! I also call it timing. Probably 80-90% in life is timing, which sometimes sucks but you just have to learn to live with it. I am also a big music lover and lately I started to explore it even more and found some new amazing artists that been keeping me happy in tricky situation when you are down. And that my friends, helped me a lot!

I guess what I am trying to say is, appreciate what you are actually surrounded by with it be people, situations, events and other things that life throws at you. Even if it is bad things or messy situations, there is always something positive around you and to smile about but is just up to you and your soul to see it. And don't let your mind play tricks on you cause your thoughts creates what you want in life. I want to thank all the amazing strangers for letting me hear their personal stories and giving me their positive energy, I am beyond grateful.

And on that note I am now going to chill and relax since I have another 6 days of work this week, but bare in mind I still have that smile on my face that I woke up to!

Thank you!

"Fantasy is what people want but reality is what they need, and I just retired from the fantasy..."

                                                                                                                             - Lauren Hill                            

---